Paul William McEntire "The Fighter"April 15, 2009-April 23,2009
I think about Paul everyday but I really think about him when I see a little boy that is around his age, when someone asks if I have any children, when I see a cute pregnant lady, when I hear that someone has lost a child, when I am having a really crappy day and I just need someone to talk to, when I feel the sun on my face, and every time I am in the mountains.
The Last 8 days I have thinking about my little boy non stop. I think about him when I am teaching class, when I am walking in the hall, when I am driving to work, when I have been talking with other people, and just when I am alone.
Today, when my student's in class were a little crazy. I was thinking at this time last year I was with my little boy. It was the most spiritual moment of my life because I got to hold Paul and love him and tell him stories and say good bye to him temporarily.
I have had a few people ask me today how I am feeling and I just want to tell them I lost my little boy a year ago today and it was one of the most bitter sweet days of my life. No one really knows what to tell you when you tell them you have lost a child. You don't need to say anything you just need to listen and be there for them when times are tough.
I want you to all know that if I have learned anything from Paul it was to: love everyone, forgive and forget, enjoy the presence of kids even if they are naughty, read stories to your kids, give them hugs and kisses all the time and just love life and live life. Because my little boy sure did.
8 comments:
You both are amazing.. I'm in tears right now. Your words at his celebration were so beautiful. I've also been thinking of your sweet Paul and you two a lot lately. His spirit was so wonderful, and I can still feel him around us all.
Love you guys!
Your words are so powerful! You are such an amazing example to me, Tagen. I've been thinking about Paul, too. He is a lucky boy to have two parents like you and Eric.
thanks for your post tagen....I too think about you and the wonderful example you have always been to me. I can't imagine what you have been threw the last year.....I just know that my life has been changed for the better as a mother and person in general as a result of your experience. I thought of you the other day as I was reading a guys blog I new at ricks. teamryanhess.blogspot.com you may know him, he's from star valley...Anyway, he will leave this earth soon as well...leaving a wife and 2 kids. I don't understand things sometimes but,I do know we are loved and carried by our Savior at certain moments in our lives and that is comforting....i admire you and eric and think about you often. we love you guys
I think you have got to be one of the strongest people I know. I bet you didn't know you were this strong until this happened. I don't know why things like this have to happen to us in our lives. I wish it didn't have to happen to you. You are such a great person and I know that you are even greater now because it sounds like you have learned so much and I know you will be a tremendous comforter to people going through similar situations. I wish you the best Tagen! Hang in there.
I have been thinking about you a lot this last week. You amaze me! You are such a great example to me and those around you. What a neat day for you and your family to be able to celebrate Paul's b-day. I am sure that will always be a special place for you. Love ya!
Paul's life was a blessing. To you and all who knew him. What a sweet thing it is to know that the good byes you said were only temporary. The loss of our Boone was very different from your loss, but I feel I can understand on a certain level what you are feeling. How wonderful that you got to snuggle him and hold him and breathe him in. He felt of your love and you were able to basque in his. What a gift our loved ones are, and what an exapmle of faith and hope you are to us. Thank you for this post. We think of you two often.
Michael and Emily
So I am sitting here in the middle of my office with huge alligator tears streaming down my face... You are so strong. You have always been such a great example to me. I am sad that I live so far away and haven't been able to be there for you. I want you to know that you are always in my thoughts.. you have taught me so much- I feel blessed to be your friend. You are such an amazing girl and Paul was so lucky to have you as his mom. Love you lots Tago
Thank you. I really needed your perspective on parenting just now.
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